I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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