So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I checked into jail on foursquare
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
