i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize