This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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