I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
