My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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