Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
