He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
