my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
