I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
babies were throwing up all over the place
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
