is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
