there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
