dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
