i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
