I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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