I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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