im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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