I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I fill condoms, not promises.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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