the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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