YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
