i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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