Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
