I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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