my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
