the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
