i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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