The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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