I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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