WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
