This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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