im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
