some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
