No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
