if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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