DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize