I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
