Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
