I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
