well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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