thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
