I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
