How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
