Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
