How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize