There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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