He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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