Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
