i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
