she woke up with a sticky ear
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize