his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
