i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
