the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize