I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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