My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
soo... how was my night?
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