Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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