I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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