you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
