That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
