I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
