a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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