so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
