My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
