Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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