We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
