Taylor Swift is so right about you.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
