Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
